Check Yes or No

I need help with, well, many things, but today it will be limited to my haircut :). For the last 8-10 years I go through cyclical phases. I grow it out long, get tired of the long hair, whack it all off to about my chin, keep it short for a while, and then grow it back out again. I guess this has a "the grass is greener on the other side" aspect to it. Now that it's been long for a while I feel like it's in my way, I usually pull it up by the end of the day, and since my hair is fine I feel like it has "stringy tendencies." Of course when it's short I enjoy it...until I decide like I actually like my hair better when it's long, and then have to go through the awkward growing out phases. Below I've posted some pictures of both styles. Sorry to fill this post with pics of me-I'm having trouble with the decision and I need outside help. It's long now, but I'm quite close to taking off multiple inches-what do you think?

Phase I-Long

Phase II-Short

Phase III the middle/grow out phase

[The above shot is in in the hospital the morning Av was born-can't you tell by the "it's 5:30 AM, get this kid out of me!" look on my face?]

Forget about this McCain/Obama thing, I need votes on my hair :) PLEASE!

Wii Wii

I realized that I posted about J giving me a Wii for my birthday, and haven't updated you on what fun it is. He got the Wii and the Wii fit. They are both so much fun. I can completely understand why physical therapists use them. So far, I have kicked J's tail in boxing every time we play (I don't think he likes that very much). We even got Av in on the fun. At first it scared her when we were boxing and saying that we were "punching" each other in boxing. J gave Av a controller and told her to "hit" me. Well, Av took him seriously, walked over, and punched me on the leg. We had to have a little explanation, and then I think she got the idea. Here are some pics. Av is, of course, in dress-up.

School Days

I realized I haven't shared anything about Av's first day of school. She has loved it and she is blessed with 2 wonderful teachers. Here are some pics from her first day-these were the best that I could do. Does anyone have any pointers on getting 2 year olds to look at the camera and smile :)?

She was ready with her cup of milk and her book. "Where are we going Mommy?"She wasn't quite sure about these kids."Are you in my class?"

She finally warmed up a little bit.

balance

Just wanted to let all of you know that I have not gone into a spiralling depression over losing Allie. I went back and read some of my posts, and thought "maybe I should pull myself together more before I blog the next time I'm that emotional." I'm not normally overly emotional, so that was pretty melodramatic for me. I even felt somewhat guilty being that upset when others are going through hurricanes, sickness of their childern, etc.

We did tell Av when she asked about Allie. We told her that Allie was too sick for us to help her, and too sick for the vet to help her, so we had to give Allie to God. Av was upset and cried that she couldn't see Allie anymore, but she has done well since then.

Thanks everybody!

Heartache

Is that an awful post title for this? That's all that I could come with today. We did put Allie to sleep this afternoon. {For earlier posts with the history go here and here} When we took Allie to the vet he drew blood off of her abdomen, which meant she had internal bleeding from the tumors and it was only a matter of time before she would be gone. We decided to put her to sleep then instead of waiting it out and keeping her in pain. Our vet was so gentle and respectful, which made it easier. They placed her on the exam table, gave her an injection, she fell asleep within 20 seconds, and moments later she was gone. I felt like Sally Field in "Steel Magnolia's" when Julia Roberts dies--watching Allie's last moments. last breaths, last flutter of her eyelids. Then the vet left J and I alone with Allie for a few minutes, to pet and hug her one last time. I was an emotional wreck. I asked J at one point if I had mascara streaked all over my face. His response was that I didn't have any mascara left anywhere.

We knew that we didn't have much longer with her, but I didn't think it would happen this quickly. I am thankful that J and I were both there with her today. We took Allie while Av was home napping (with MIL at home). Av hasn't asked about Allie yet-why she's not here. I'm not really sure what we're going to tell her. Will Av remember Allie when she's older? How do I explain death to a 2 year old? We haven't ever talked about heaven with her. Do I tell her that Allie is with God? I don't think I actually believe that, so would I be lying to my child? Ugghh. Anybody have any suggestions? I'm also wondering how our other dog, Lily, is going to respond to this.

She really was the most incredible dog and I will be shocked if we ever have another dog as wonderful as she was. Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. Being able to blog about this has really helped me these last couple of weeks. I'm also thankful I'm writing it down to preserve these moments. Thanks again. Go hug your pets, take them for a walk, and show them some love!

Man's Best Friend

J and I are leaving in about 30 minutes to take Allie to the vet, and I'm really worried that Allie won't be coming back home with us. Today has been terrible for her. She seemed fine this am. She got up, ate, went outside-the normal routine, but since then she hasn't really moved. All she has done is lay on the hardwood floor to stay cool and she is panting heavily.

We decided it was time to go the vet. J and I discussed what options the vet is probably going to give us. This, of course, made me start crying. We were in the kitchen and I didn't want to upset Av, so I just buried my face in J's chest. Av is too perceptive for that and immediately noticed my shaking shoulders. She asked "Mommy are you sad?" I realized she had climbed out of her chair to comfort me when I felt her little hand rubbing my leg. I tried to pull myself together and turned to her. She had her arms outstretched and asked "Momma, do you need a hug?" I picked her up and she nuzzled her head into my neck and gently patted my back and said "Does that make you feel better? You'll be alright." After a few moments I set her back down. She reached out for my hand, walked me back to the table, and had me sit down next to her chair. Then she climbed into her chair, took my yogurt and started feeding it to me. Her gentleness warmed my hurting heart.

How can my 2 year old sense my pain and how to comfort me? She is incredibly silly, stubborn, and independent, but those traits are matched by her sweetness, gentleness, and empathy.

Well, we have to head out to go to the vet. Please pray. I'll let you know when we get back. Thank you.

Toddler Theology and Vocalulary

I have not been so good about blogging lately, and I definitely have been lacking in adding pictures. Today {since I know some of you are only here for an Av update} I'll try to be better. Av really says some hilarious stuff and if I don't record it here, I will quickly forget it.

We are trying to "introduce" Av to God and making sure Av knows He is in all part of our life. We pray, read her Bible, try to find teachable moments during the day, etc. She is taking it in, but I think sometimes a few wires might get crossed. Tonight Av decided that she would pray before we ate dinner. Here was her prayer

God is good.

Lord, we tank you for dis day.

Let Jesus pray,

Amen.

I think this was a combo of "God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food." and more freestyle prayer of "Lord, thank you for our day, thank you for our food, in Jesus' name. Amen."

Av's Bible has pictures in it and she has decided that every man with white hair and a white beard is Moses, and every man with dark hair and a beard is Jesus. Daniel, Jonah, Elijah, David, are all Moses to Av. John, Paul, Peter-they're all Jesus.

Some of her other funny words

Brestast Translation: breakfast

Hippollamas Translation: Hippopotamus

Helitractor Translation: Helicopter

Lillypops Translation: Lilly pads

Gumanola Translation: Granola

The pictures are from yesterday at the park with our friends Reed, Paige, and Morgan.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

You can decide where the following items fall into the above categories

>Played at the park for hours with some cool moms and their kids
>Since we live in south Alabama, you might have thought we were actually in the Amazon it was so hot and humid outside
>We all left the park red faced from the heat and soaked in sweat
>I got to have quiet time to myself for the day's Bible study
>I went to the gym for an hour during Av's nap
>Between going to the park and the gym I felt hot and sweaty all day long
>After I got home from the gym, J asked if I had just gotten out of the shower.....umm, no, my hair is just so greasy that it looks wet. Definitely not my most attractive moment.
>Yes, I did take a shower after that
>My house is clean
>All the clothes have been washed and put away
>We ate leftovers for dinner, so no major mess to clean up in the kitchen
>Av has been sans diapers during nap time for over a week now
>Allie, overall, seems to feel OK. She even brought her tennis ball to me to play with her last night
>I ordered a pair of Chaco's for my birthday (thanks Dad!) and the UPS man brought them yesterday! (If you want a pair they're on sale here-$60 and free shipping. Normally $95)
>Av is so excited about her dress-up that she slept in it last night-without the shoes. When she woke up this AM she immediately asked for her Sleeping Beauty shoes and has been wearing them all morning.
>After I already had my cart half-filled at the grocery store, I realized I had left my wallet at home on the kitchen counter
>I have a life insurance physical in 30 minutes

That's the last 24 hours in a nutshell.

Thank you so much to all of you who have left comments, called and emailed about Allie. Your kind words of support and encouragement have been so comforting to us.

Gifts

J and I try to be fairly low-key parents when it comes to gift giving. Thankfully, between gifts and hand-me-downs from friends and family, we don't often buy clothes, toys, etc for Av. I would have to say Av's favorite playtime activity might be dress-up. She has a whole tub of dress-up clohes in her room, and I think I have only purchased one of those outfits for her. Her current favorite is Sleeping Beauty. Av has already told me that wants to be Sleeping Beauty for halloween, and she had a complete melt down recently at a friend's house when it was time to go home and she had to take off the Sleeping Beauty shoes {her favorite dress up item-shoes}.

J and I decided maybe we could actually get a pair of shoes for her. At first I looked on Ebay-and found a new pair for $0.99, but then decided to just go to the store for them. We went to dinner first at a Japenese Hibachi steakhouse-and Av LOVED it! The fire tricks, flipping eggs around, cooking right in front of her, the food-it was one of the best eat out nights we have had with her. After dinner we let her know we were making a special trip to the store....just for her shoes. This is the only time I ever remember taking her someplace to get something just for her. We found a package with a dress, shoes, a purse, and a crown for only $15. She was so excited that she carried the box, even though it was almost as long as she is, out of the store "all by herself."

While we walked out, J and I were as giddy as she was b/c it gave us so much joy to bring such happiness to her. I couldn't help but think of the gifts God has already given me, and other gifts He has prepared for me, and that He too pleasures in giving these gifts. How much more joy, on His part and ours, is experienced with gifts that are eternal instead of a pair of plastic shoes?

Matthew 7:9-11

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Allie

She was J's first blonde and his first love. J says it was love at first sight when they met 12 years ago. She is his best friend. She is our beloved labrador retriever.
Today our vet told us she has metastatic cancer and, at best, she may be with us for 3-6 more months. I can't even write this without crying right now. I know that everyone loves their dog, but honestly, Allie is the best dog I have ever seen. I feel I can say that {somewhat} unbiased since I can't take any credit for how fantastic she is-J had her for 5 years before I came into the picture. One of J's family's friends actually offered J over $5K (yes, that's thousands) for Allie. J kept Allie and knew he had the better end of the deal.
Allie has been with J through highs and lows. She has given birth to champion puppies (best in show in California). She helped raise and train the other 7 dogs in our home and our families' homes. She is fiercely loyal and protective. At the end of my pregnancy with Av, when we had finished the nursery, Allie starting sleeping at the threshold of the nursery, as if to guard it. On another instance she and J were camping at the family farm. They were walking through the woods and spooked a coyote that charged J. Allie immediately defended J and attacked and killed the coyote.
Even though she is fierce, she matches it with her gentleness. She has allowed countless children to climb on her, ride her, pull her tail, and look in her ears. We even have a picture of our nephew, when he was a toddler, pulling her eyelid open to look into her eyes. Allie just continued to calmly rest on the floor while Samuel inspected her.
She has survived pancreatitis, attacks from other dogs, a coyote fight, a very traumatic birthing experience (she only had 6 puppies, but they were so large the vet had predicted she would have 12), and many other experiences I could continue to ramble on about, but now it is coming to an end.
She is more than just a dog to us. She is our friend and companion. She is Av's playmate. She is probably the best dog we will ever be blessed to be around.

If you have a pet in your home, give it a hug and some special attention today. Sorry to be so somber, but this is the outpouring of my heart today.