Faithful

We decided is would be better to explain what today would be like to Av in advance and I am so thankful that we chose that route. We told her we would be seeing the doctor and he needed her tummy to be empty, so no breakfast, that she would wear a special gown so the Dr could get to her tummy, she would get some medicine that would make her sleepy so she wouldn't feel it when he checked her, and she would have to go to a special room with just the Dr. and nurses, but that we would be there waiting for her. Two of my biggest logistic concerns were keeping her without food/drink and how she would react when taken back to the OR without us. Av wants to eat breakfast immediately on wakening. But since we had told her no food until after we saw the doctor-she didn't even ask for anything to eat that morning. We got to the hospital at 10 am, and they didn't take her to the OR until around 1 pm. She mentioned that she was hungry a few times, but that was it! I am so proud of her. She had a great attitude all day, didn't complain, never seemed upset, no crying--it was incredible.

A wonderful friend of mine, J, sent Av a care package that helped keep us entertained all morning. We tried anything we could think of to keep a 3 year old occupied in the hospital! We wore our new princess slippers.

We put stickers on everythingMy "waterproof" watch isn't working after wearing it in the pool for all of 5 minutes, but Av graciously shared her watch with me.Av made me a lovely beaded necklace that matched my shirt quite well.

Let Av practice her photography skills

Once we were in the preop room Av gladly changed into her gown since it was like dress-up to her!

She snoozed peacefully after surgery. It was somewhat heart wrenching to see her with IV tubing and wires connected to her. When the nurse came to discharge us Av asked the nurse if she could take everything off herself. She unwrapped her blood pressure cuff and took all the tape of her own hand so the the nurse could remove the IV!

Av did enjoy riding in the wagon as her transportation to the car (even though it doesn't look like it in this pic-she was still a little zoned out from the anesthesia).I think what I learned from the day were 2 things that I have heard before. Kids are resilient and they can often handle more than believed they could. We are so thankful, but somewhat shocked at how smoothly the day went. I also think we definitely made the right decision to explain it to her before hand. Of course I didn't include all the details in our talk, like the fact that the Dr would be cutting her stomach open, but as much as I thought would be beneficial and understood, I shared with her.

I gave her some Tylenol yesterday afternoon and that was the only medicine she has had. Today it was as if she had already completely healed. She didn't even mention her tummy or complain of pain and it was like any other day around here! Thanks for the prayers, calls, and words of encouragement.

Anxious

Tomorrow is the big day to take Av to the hospital for her surgery. I'm quite familiar with the OR, but I'm going to be on the other side this time. We have to be there at 10 am, which surgery will hopefully start by around 11-12. I think one of the most challenging parts is going to be keeping her without food or drink all morning. Av is ready to eat breakfast IMMEDIATELY after she gets up in the morning. We have told her that she can't eat/drink anything until after she sees the doctor and she accepted it well tonight, but we'll see how that goes once the situation is actually here.

I'm trying not to be too nervous. I wanted to sleep with her in my arms tonight, but I knew that it would be better for both of us to get a good night of sleep. I have also have tried to remind myself that I am not in control, no matter how much I think I am, but that God is. She is His more than she is mine and His love for her is beyond mine, even though it's hard to comprehend anyone loving her more than I do.
He loves her more than I do
He loves her more than I do
He loves her more than I do
Please say a prayer for us and if you want to mention it on your blog to get others praying as well I would really appreciate it! Thanks, and I will let you know how everything goes once we are home.

Ephesians 3;17-19
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

What's Your Name?

Av is staying with my parents this week. Today I got an update from my mom on how the week is going and the funny Av stories. This one is my favorite. Av is currently into full names-her full name, my full name, J's full name-you can see where I'm going here. According to her my full name is my first name, her middle name, and our last name. Here' the conversation between Av and my mom.

Av: What's your full name?
Beba: States full name
Av: What's your full name again?
Beba: States full name
Av: What's your full name again?
Beba: Giraffe Elephant
Av: No! It's ZEBRA elephant!!!

How is she that stubborn and that confident about something that is completely wrong?

A recent, similar conversation
Me: Are you giving the ball to Allie (our dog)
Av: Yes Mommy, I'm giving it to she.
Me: Av, you should say "I'm giving it to her."
Av: No Mommy, I'm giving it to SHE!
Me: Av, you're giving it to her
Av: No Mommy, I'm giving it to SHE!

I have a side of me that is proud of her for her independence and gumption. The other part of me is quickly developing wrinkles and frown lines. It also makes me think that this is often what I sound like to God, since I tend to be a stubborn and stiff-necked individual myself. How many of my thoughts and feelings should be likened to nonsense rantings of a 2 year old? Probably a lot..sigh. I have always heard people say that by becoming a parent I would appreciate God, the Father, in a way I never had before. It just never occurred to me that in this new found realization I would be playing the role of the toddler.

Strength for Today

I've been meaning to post this for a few days now and just haven't gotten around to doing it. For one thing, being vulnerable on a blog is easier since it's not out loud and feels much like writing in a journal, but harder because I'm opening that journal up for anyone to see. In an electronic form of communication I'm always afraid it's more difficult to express yourself since people can't see your face and hear your voice. I hope that any posts I write about faith and what I'm learning don't come across as "preachy." Please know, I'm not writing this because I have the answers about it, but only because I'm struggling through the process of learning it myself.

Lately I've been reading, A Godward Life, by John Piper. What I love about it is that each chapter is a few pages long, and on differing topics, so it reads like a devotional book. I love Piper's writing. Even though it's concise, it is also full of wisdom and theological truth that my mind goes back to throughout the day. If I ever live in Minneapolis, we will probably go to his church, Bethlehem Baptist-even though we consider ourselves Presbyterians :)!

A few days ago I read pgs 25-27 titled "Today's Mercies for Today's Troubles" and I have reflected on it since. During this period of changing jobs and uncertainty in front of us, it has been a firm foundation for me. I wanted to share it since so many of my friends and fellow bloggers are in stressful times as well. The main scripture is Matthew 6:34 "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." The surrounding verses Matt 6:25-34 are also excellent: ""Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Piper says "Often we feel like our reservoir of strength is not going to last for another day. The fact is, it won't. Today's resources are for today, and part of those resources is the confidence that new resources will be given tomorrow." As Lamentations 3:22-23 states "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Piper's description is "God's mercies are new every morning because each day has enough mercy in it only for that day. This is why we tend to despair when we think that we may have to bear tomorrow's load on today's resources. God wants us to know that we won't. Today's mercies are for today's troubles. Tomorrow's mercies are for tomorrow's troubles."

His final point reminds us of the Israelites and God's daily provision of manna. Each Israelite was instructed to take as much as was needed for that day. If they tried to save it for the next day the manna was rotten and full of maggots. If today I think how will I make it through tomorrow, next week, next month, etc...I can't get through tomorrow on what God has given me today. I have to wait for the mercies/strength/manna that He will provide for me tomorrow to face the tasks of that day.

How well He knows us (me). We are (I am) too independent left to our own choosing and pride. We have been created for a continual need and dependence on Him each day, every day. Thank you Lord that you know not only tomorrow, but also every day. That when the time arises, you provide the strength needed for that day, even if I don't have that strength today-because I don't need it today. In a sense, when we feel we can't face what the next day holds, that's a correct thought. We can't face what the next day holds until that day. Help me to use what you have given me today to the fullest. May I be expended at the end of each day, not trying to hold your strength and mercies in reserve-that it would necessitate dependence on you as I wake each morning.