Mommy, is that you?

I woke this morning and for just a second it seemed like a "normal" day, and then yesterday's occurrences came rushing into my head. I am now unemployed and Brian is still gone. I wanted to stay in bed and eat bon-bons all day, however that's not feasible with a 2 year old :). I guess it's not very beneficial either. I suppose a good part of the day is that I got a lot of work done around the house b/c a.) I didn't have a job to go to and b.) it somehow felt better to at least be doing something. I know, in a sense I'm just distracting myself, but it was with something productive. I did choose against spending the day at Dairy Queen or Target-does that count for anything. I have too many thoughts swimming around in head to write anything cohesive at this point. Please continue to pray.

Av "helped" me around the house today. We, of course, played dress-up. We also had some sweet time together when she cuddled in my lap this afternoon after her nap and we watched some of The Sound of Music. It did make me think during the "Favorite Things" song when Julie Andrew sings "when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad." I know that thinking about raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens probably won't get me anywhere today, but I can choose to focus on God. His goodness, love, and grace. There are countless questions I don't have the answer for, but I know He does.

Here was the "highlight" of my day. While watching the movie my laptop was next to us with these on the screen. Av said, "Mommy, do you have a black dress on?"
Yes, I know it was from a 2 year old, but I'll take being confused with Gwyneth Paltrow today. Photo: splash news.

Where to begin?

Today has been quite a rough day. This morning J's mom called to let us know that one his closest childhood friends, Brian, died yesterday. He was a civilian on his 3rd tour in Iraq and there was an explosion by the vehicle he was in at the time. He was supposed to come home next month. If you live in Bham you might have heard this mentioned on the news. Brian was married with 3 children-I believe they are 12, 9, and 5. I can't express how much my heart aches for this family. I can't begin to understand what his mom, siblings, wife, and children are experiencing. Please, please pray for them. I pray the children would continue to experience a father's love from God. I pray for Becky as she raises 3 children without Brian. There are so many questions of why and how that I know only God has the answer for now. It's hard to comprehend how much pain and suffering there is here on earth. How it makes me long for heaven. These words on suffering have been helpful.

A couple hours later I received a phone call that the company I work for is being dissolved tomorrow! I have only been with them a few months, and knew this was a risk since it's a start-up company, but it was still quite a shock today. I have spent much of the afternoon on the phone, looking into job possibilities. Which job? Where? Are we going to stay in Dothan? Do I look for jobs in Birmingham or elsewhere? I know there many jobs out there, this just isn't the way that I envisioned myself looking for my next job.

At first I thought "keep things in perspective." I could be dealing with far worse than a forced job change. That is true to an extent, but then I thought the answer isn't that the situations are different/easier. The answer is that my God is the same. In all of this God is good. He is always faithful and always sovereign. Only in Him will there be rest for your soul and peace that transcends understanding. He is our strength, stronghold, and a refuge in distress. He is our redeemer and sustainer. He gathers his flock in his arms and carries them close to his heart. This has certainly been a week of highs and lows, but I am thankful God is constant.

Psalm 62;5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

The Grass is Greener....

When you actually have grass! Now that the fence is finished, we have to take care of the rest of the yard overhaul. We decided to start with the basics..and what could be more basic than grass? Up until this year it had been thick and full, like carpet! There were even times that I thought our grass, St. Augustine, was too thick and aggressive, but after the the drought last year we now have so many bald spots in the yard that we needed new sod. Thankfully, I have a very hardworking husband who handled all this in a matter of days. He took out the old grass, leveled and tilled soil, picked up the new sod, and laid the new sod! We only got one palette for the worst spots, but it looks so good it makes me want to resod the whole yard. My checkbook, however, is the prohibitive factor here. We'll just be doing frequent watering! Here's the before. You can see all the lovely bald spots and J's outline of where the sod goes.This is an in progress shot with part of the wonderful new sod in place. I just realized I don't have a final after shot-guess I'll have to take one tomorrow. Thanks for your hard work J!!!
Well, I had hoped that the kitchen was going to magically be clean by the time I finished posting this, but that hasn't happened, so I better head that way.

Proof

Today I actually have the energy to get the camera and post pictures.

J informed me that I had a look of relief as a crossed the finish line!!!

Av waiting patiently for me to hit the finish line while wearing her super cute raincoat from Jana (Will's {my brother} fiance). J got Av to cheer "Go, Mommy, Go!" So cute My partner in crime-Meredith. I never would have made it to this point without her!! I'm so glad Mer got me to do this, kept me accountable to training, and was there with me. I loved it and hope to do it again someday.

It is finished....

Ok, not that I can compare myself to Christ's crucifixion, but it's the best title I can come up with today-my brain is a little fuzzy at this point. I made it through the 1/2 marathon this morning. In a sense I can't believe that I made it to this point and completed it. I was able to run the whole way and I felt great. This is such an answer to prayer and I am so thankful for God's blessing that He gave me the strength today. He gave us great weather this morning-in the 60's and cloudy. It felt fantastic outside. That atmosphere was so inspiring as well. Music playing and people lining the streets the entire way cheering us on throughout the race. Great lesson learned today. This was something that I never thought I would/could do and I would have missed out on so much had I never tried and allowed my fear and doubts to hold me back. So, if you're out with something you've always wanted to do; GO AFTER IT!! I'll post pictures in the next few days. Thank you for encouraging words and prayers.

Don't Touch

Buddies. Av and Allie. Av is wearing the blue cinderella dress from MW. Obsessed with dressup!!!This afternoon Av had to go potty, so I took her into the bathroom. She now likes her privacy in the potty and says "Mommy, shut the door" when we go in the bathroom which means-leave me alone and shut the door behind you. I have to admit that this makes me nervous sometimes-especially when she's on the "big" potty instead of her "little" potty. What if she falls in or off the toilet? What if she gets down and turns the hot water on in the bath tub and scalds herself? I have more neurotic worries, but I'll stop here. Normally when she's finished I here "all done." Today I heard "It's stuck! It's stuck!" This is what I found when I walked into the bathroom.

Somehow Av and her toys were wet-yet there was no water running. The only accessible water was from the toilet! Av, the floor, and the toys-wet with toilet water.

The grossest part was that her white tea cup (another item she's obsessed with) was wet. I never got a straight answer from her as to if she drank any of the water or if she just used her cup to scoop the water.

Here's shy she was yelling "it's stuck." She had put her star wand into the toilet and couldn't get it out. I hope she isn't compelled to put any other objects there in the future.

Back to Work

Today I was actually in the operating room. I started a new job in the beginning of Feb. and today was the first time I have been in the OR since my old job! Lots of state and hospital paperwork had to be completed, but now it's finally done! It has been a really nice couple of months though since life has been so calm. Well, that "calm" really only refers to the job. Life, in general, has been quite hectic and it looks like the craziness will continue for 2008 with trips, weddings, race this weekend, board reviews, taking boards, etc. Back to today :). It really was a good day. I was nervous since I have worked in orthopaedics for the last 4.5 years, and I was working in general surgery today. I enjoyed it and the day went well. It was an answer to prayer and it made me feel much better about the new job. Tomorrow I am working with an ortho guy, but he is a spine specialist, which is it's own little world-more like neurosurgery.

On the home front....after spending quite a bit of money on plants over the years (and still not having a yard I am proud of) we paid $75 to have someone from a landscaping company come look at the yard and give us ideas of what to do. So, does anyone have thousands of dollars you want to give us to complete the plan:)? Why is it so expensive? Maybe I'm too cheap to have gardening as a hobby. We did decide that we do need to put down new sod after the effects of the drought last year. Thankfully J is a much better gardener than I am and he's such a hard worker. He has already marked off the areas that will need new grass, tilled it, leveled it, picked up the sod, and placed about half of the sod. That man is serious about house projects! One thing this confirmed for me is that I get frozen by perfectionism/fear. I feel like I don't know enough to do a good job, so I'm not confident in my decisions, which means I end up not making the decisions, and stay in the status quo. Yuck-I keep myself in a position where I'm not satisfied. The good part, is that even with a little bit of knowledge, I can move forward-as we are doing with the yard. J also helps since he is good at prodding me along, although sometimes he may be more like a drill sergeant :).

We went over to Jenn's house yesterday for Av and MW to play together. MW has a power wheels purple jeep. When we got there the girls hopped in the jeep together with MW driving. Well, I think Av is used to being strapped in and not having to brace herself for stops/starts/turns. When MW first hit the "gas" Av had a whiplash movement and hit the back of her head. Then MW stopped and Av went forward and hit her forehead! Of course MW was being very sweet to share her jeep and let Av ride with her, but I don't think Av will get anywhere near that car anytime soon! Thankfully we still had a great time at Jenn's with MW-the girls played dress-up the rest of the time. Av immediately found a blue Cinderella dress. Jenn even let her wear it home. The only time Av took if off was to go to sleep yesterday. That night I heard her talking in her crib saying "don't like it" repeatedly in an upset tone. I went to see what was wrong and she said she didn't like the purple jeep. She hadn't said anything else about it until she got up from her nap today. When I went in to get her she said "I don't like MW's truck. I DON'T LIKE THAT TRUCK. Let MW drive the truck." I think she might have had a nightmare about it! Who would have ever thought a powerwheel would cause nightmares! I'm sure she'll be over it soon.

Is the weekend over already?

Here's Av and the dogs. This is the best shot I could get from an attempt to have them all looking at me for the pic and Av smiling. I'll take what I can get! Side note..the flowers are Knock-out Roses. As much as a I love (what I should really be saying is how much of our money goes there) the local home improvement mega-marts, they are not the place to get flowers-at least in my experience. We got these from a local nursery and have been very pleased.

We have an area of grass that isn't growing well, so J roped it off to keep the dogs off of it. Since this was an area off limits, Av was immediately drawn to play there. She climbed inside and then informed us she was "hiding." Note the mischievous grin. Where was that smile in the last pic? Does every 2 year old enjoy pushing the line this much?
Av and Lily playing together. Modern day killing 2 birds with one stone: let the kiddos and dogs play together. End result both had a great time, are tired at the end, and mom and dad sit on the patio together enjoying a beautiful afternoon.

Av had to put on J's work gloves to play in the sandbox. Don't worry, it's only sand in that Buffalo Connection cup!
I don't know how well you'll be able to see it, but Lily has been shaved. I can't believe that I have a "big dog" and had her shaved!! Lily is a mix. Lab +german shepherd=lots of shedding. Hair explodes off of her. I could sweep and vacuum 3 times a day and still have a house covered in dog hair. Last year my parents shaved their golden retriever and she seemed to enjoy the summer without such thick hair, and much less shedding for my parents to handle, so we thought we would give it a try.

Please continue to pray for Meredith and I since the 1/2 marathon is this upcoming weekend! I'm very nervous and very excited at the same time.